am filled with anxiety.
remembering that when I first away from home to study, went to MRSM Qber (Kuala Berang), Terengganu. Let alone friend, there are only a few student comes from Johor.
Then when I went to matrix tangkak, muar for a few weeks, only a male friend that i know of went there. Practically alone.
Later, I went to KMB , there also only one friend that i know of, and a male one. so…again, am relatively alone.
At KMB, i met friends, which later on become closer closer when we went to CZ, to study for 6 years. and never felt alone anymore whenever am in a new place.
6 years passed, and I’m being comfortable of having people that i know of around me. i feel ‘secure’.
now. reality hits.
i’m in a new phase. soon, I’ll be a newbie at a workplace. with no one that I know.
again… am alone.
ok, i lied.
I did know few people working there.
My seniors, my friends. (and I did keep on pestering them to ask around about the new workplace)
What i mean is that, I had no friends that will come to work together with me at the new place. hoho…
because i was too used, having people i know whenever i’m in a new place, it kinda gives me in a safe zone. (if that make sense)
Realizing the situation that I am now, it gives me anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean i can’t be independent, but, i know when i’m in that kind of situation, adjusting to new places and all, i became so “focus”, (read: blank), that i can never recall what i did in the first week where i was at.
i need to learn to enjoy this kind of anxiety more. fuuh…
now on mission of making friends. wish me luck!
- I’ll be a houseman at HSAJB starting early March.
- next week I’ll have to attend the PTM (like induction) for a week at AFamosa, Melaka. There, the mission will commence! cari kawan, yok~
- lonely much…