be kind

Greetings, folks.

It’s always in my belief to be kind to those who’s sedated. who unable to reply anything when asking etc. i usually will greet and told the pt that i will take his/her blood despite being sedated. some will frown on me, as they said “patient tak tahu pun”. but I always belief, as long as he alive, his consciousness still around. Though I never knew how it is, until, I spoke to a patient of mine.

image courtesy to Google Image

She was newly diagnose with Hodgkin Lymphoma last year and just started with chemotherapy. she was diagnosed last year at late stage, with complication of superior vena cava obstruction with pericardiac effusion. Pericardiocentesis was performed, however complication occurs resulting rupture of the ventricle in which proceed to thoracostomy. Miraculously, as Allah will, she survived.

She told me her experience after being told about her diagnosis, how devastated she was and her experience when intubated and sedated. Indeed, she can’t open her eyes, nor moves. But she listen and knows. She appreciate what the nurses did to her, as they always greet her and informed her if they want to clean her up, do the bedding, etc.She listens to those who visits her. She receives blessing from people around. She’s grateful and in debt. Now, she’s underwent treatment with positive vibe, not giving up her life, as she stills have her newborn daughter and close-knit family.

So be kind, colleague. Even though they are sedated, unresponsive, they still human.




am filled with anxiety.

remembering that when I first away from home to study, went to MRSM Qber (Kuala Berang), Terengganu. Let alone friend, there are only a few student comes from Johor.

Then when I went to matrix tangkak, muar for a few weeks, only a male friend that i know of went there. Practically alone.

Later, I went to KMB , there also only one friend that i know of, and a male one. so…again, am relatively alone.

At KMB, i met friends, which later on become closer closer when we went to CZ, to study for 6 years. and never felt alone anymore whenever am in a new place.

6 years passed, and I’m being comfortable of having people that i know of around me. i feel ‘secure’.

now. reality hits.

i’m in a new phase. soon, I’ll be a newbie at a workplace. with no one that I know.

again… am alone.

ok, i lied.

I did know few people working there.

My seniors, my friends. (and I did keep on pestering them to ask around about the new workplace)

What i mean is that, I had no friends that will come to work together with me at the new place. hoho…

because i was too used, having people i know whenever i’m in a new place, it kinda gives me in a safe zone. (if that make sense)

Realizing the situation that I am now, it gives me anxiety. Don’t get me wrong,  it doesn’t mean i can’t be independent, but, i know when i’m in that kind of situation, adjusting to new places and all, i became so “focus”, (read: blank), that i can never recall what i did in the first week where i was at.

i need to learn to enjoy this kind of anxiety more. fuuh…

oh well…

now on mission of making friends. wish me luck!

side note:

  • I’ll be a houseman at HSAJB starting early March.
  • next week I’ll have to attend the PTM (like induction) for a week at AFamosa, Melaka. There, the mission will commence! cari kawan, yok~
  • lonely much…



Monday Random Talk: Smartphone


All member in my family have smartphone, except my dad.

the reason being: it’s too big to stuff inside the pocket. does not look cool. it’ll stick out.

So, I’m in hunt in looking for screentouch smartphone that small enough to fit into his trouser’s pocket. giving suggestions that might interest him, but…my dad is bit picky bout his gadget. even if iPhone, blackberry, and some nokia, samsung phone can barely fit his pocket, he doesn’t seem interested in buying one.

He told me, “there’s no need of rushing getting one, as the one he have now is in quite good condition,”. And sees no point of having one, as, if it’s for work, he already had laptop and dslr camera with him everywhere he go. so yeah, the phone is really just for communication.

hearing that, made me think of “need vs want”. where all his needs already satisfied, there’s no actually the need of buying one. if my dad happens to buy one, then it’ll be the desire not the need. so here, the “need” wins!

as long he’s happy.


  • kene muhasabah diri untuk berfikir panjang sebelum membuat keputusan untuk menghabiskan duit seperti air.
  • baru-baru ni ade member naikkan issue pasal claim duit buku MARA tak masuk lagi, dan persoalannya perlukah kita menuntut duit buku tu. Kemudian sahabat saya menyatakan bahawa duit buku tu tak termasuk dalam final year, jadi kalau kita claim duit buku tu pun, kita akan dapat duit tu, tapi akan dimasukkan dalam surat hutang itu. Terima kasih sahabat kerana memberi pencerahan pasal ini. Sebab saya tak tahu pasal ini, kalau tak, saya pun ikut join claim duit buku tu. huhu…takpe la susah sekarang. ngee…

edited 28/3/14 : apparently duit buku yg akan diclaim ni adalah part of contract, so there should be no additional charge, or so, what I was informed. thanks Lina for enlightment!



Monday Random Talk: temperamental


I forgot how I was for these past few years.

Nowadays, I have little contact with real people in real life, meeting face to face can be easily count with fingers (on social basis, excluding the practical class that I have, which is nowadays…not daily as it was).

So, basically, with less interaction with real people, I somehow never got into conflict, or crisis. My “life” just evolve around the books, and laptop. If i see something I don’t like on the social media, I just scroll past them, so..I never got myself into crisis that way. I thought myself as a not-easy-to-anger kind of person. But it’s all a lie. Blinded by the fact that I have low contact with real people nowadays.

Now that I think back, throughout my life (not that long though), where I have contact with real life the most…I am a very quick tempered person.

I remembered going into argument once with other students who don’t follow the rules. just once, I think? it must be something ridiculous, because , I am not a good prefect as I should. I did quite often rebel against the school, i.e comics, cassette player, stay in dorm when it’s prep time, oh well…so sometimes, outside the inspection, whenever I found those “illegal” article, I just let them be, because I did the same too. 

I also easily sulk, when I’m upset. Sometimes, out of nowhere, or even minuscule ridiculous  things can make me upset, and when I’m upset, I stay in silence, it’s hard to tell others what I felt about it. I thought that, with silence, I hope I won’t blurt out not-pretty-words, so I stay in silence. But I’m glad that I have friends, that told me, sometimes I have to tell them what’s wrong, if there’s anything wrong, because in that way, the issue can be resolved or they won’t know. So from there on, I learnt that sometimes you had to voice out what you thought. I’m really thankful for their words, because I won’t know if they don’t tell me.

Sometimes, if I don’t like or feel bad about something, I turn blind eyes for it. I love to run away from something I don’t like, ends up with me doing something that I like, but also only to deepen the unresolved issues at hand. But, if there’s no issue from me running away from the “bad” situation, I know that, I’m glad that I run away from it, because I can grasp my happiness with my own hand.

I can be sensitive whenever I feel wronged. I have the urge to be defensive about it. but, if i feel wronged and needs to be corrected, I tried to address the issue. But it’s hard, as I may blow my fuse while I talk. And that’s not cute. At all. 

Anyway, I know, I need anger management issue. Need to control myself. Islam have it’s own way for the management, and I should perform it by heart. 

Also, I need to get into social life as often I should be. What’s that term? Exposure therapy? So that, I got into society, and being exposed into crisis (as sometimes, you can’t avoid crisis), and learnt from there, how to manage the issue. Now, the question is, when it’ll be?

Pray that, I’ll be protected from Shaytan’s whisper to my heart, and pray that I’ll be able to control my nafs, emotion as a Muslim should be. Ameen.  




5 perosak hati

1. kekenyangan

2. bergaul dengan banyak kalangan. Pergaulan yang salah menimbulkan masalah.

3. larut dalam angan-angan kosong.

4. bergantung kepada selain dr Allah.

5. tidur yang berlebihan.

5 perkara diatas ini saya ambil dri sahabat sy, Cikgu Nurul Hidayah. hurm, kalu Cikgu Nurul Hidayah baca entry ni, aci ke beri sourcenyer. hehe…tanx a lot for the reminder.

terpukul seket kat #5 tu. TIDUR yang BERLEBIHAN. (T T)

And I…

Kehidupan di dunia dijadikan terasa indah di pandangan orang-orang kafir, dan mereka menghina orang-orang yang beriman. Padahal orang yang bertakwa itu, berada di atas mereka itu hari kiamat. Dan Allah memberi rezeki kepada orang yang dikehendaki tanpa perhitungan.

Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 212 (2:212)

Moga diletakkan dunia di tanganku, dan akhirat dihatiku.

Alhamdulillah, I’m still alive. That’s the biggest nikmat that I got everyday since I born. Thank you, Allah.